Little Idiot
by Irhaboggles
Summary: Galinda can be a handful, as Elphaba well knows. It's especially difficult to look after the young socialite because she's always out at the bars and pubs, getting wasted. But it doesn't matter, not really, because Elphaba loves Galinda, and there is nothing she won't do to keep her little idiot safe.


"That would be the Vinkus, you little idiot," Elphaba grunted as she and Galinda did their homework side by side. It was clear that the geography portion of their latest assignment was beyond Galinda's area of expertise, but then again, when it came to academia, what wasn't?

"Did I ask you?" Galinda shot back frostily.

"I wasn't aware you even knew how to do that," Elphaba sniffed. Unable to come up with a good reply, Galinda only shot Elphaba death glare before turning back to her textbook. It was just another tense, typical evening in the Thropp-Arduenna dorm room.

But slowly, as time passed, the tension slowly melted away from their relationship and they slowly started making their way towards a friendly relationship. Or at least, one that wasn't rife with arguing and insulting. Through sheer conversations alone, the ice finally started to melt around the two witches and soon, they were on friendly enough terms. It finally reached a point to where the only thing that really kept the two apart anymore was social life. While Elphaba preferred to stay inside and alone, Galinda could be counted on to be off partying at all hours of the day... and night. This sometimes made for less-than-wonderful experiences for Elphaba, even though she was finally starting to tolerate Galinda.

_BANG! _Elphaba shot awake at the sound of the dorm room door bursting open.

"What in Oz?!" she hissed angrily. She squinted and could, through the light coming from the hallway, make out her roommate's slightly-stooped figure standing in the doorway. Elphaba growled at once.

"Galinda! What in Oz are you doing? Don't you know it's 2:30 in the morning?!" the fury in her voice was palpable, but it was all lost upon Galinda, who was dead drunk. She stumbled into the dorm room, nearly falling over three times in eight seconds.

"Mmm? Oh, morning Elphie. Man, am I tired!" she slurred. Then she collapsed.

"Ugh, you're drunk, you little idiot," Elphaba grunted, looking down at her spread-eagled roommate with disdain. She received no response.

"I suppose it's my job to fix you up, then?" she asked next. Still no reply.

"Sweet Oz!" Elphaba shook her head in dismay and irritation before grudgingly climbing out of bed and walking over to Galinda's side.

"Alright, you, up we go!" she muttered as she grabbed Galinda by the armpits and lifted her straight up off the floor.

"Woo! Upsy-daisy we go!" Galinda giggled as she was suddenly lifted off the floor.

"Sweet Oz!" Elphaba repeated with that same exasperated tone. She then carefully led Galinda to her bed, trying her best to shove Galinda inside the covers before she fell over again. This was not what she had come to college for!

"Oooh! Thanks Elphie!" Galinda sighed at last once she was properly tucked in.

"No problem," Elphaba replied curtly before returning to her own bed with a weary sigh. Sometimes she really hated her roommate.

What Elphaba found most annoying about these late-night adventures was the fact that they were very habitual. Elphaba could never understand it herself, finding it repulsive and strange that people could enjoy getting so drunk that they were pretty much defenseless before waking up the next morning with a monster hangover, yet it seemed to be a popular thing for most college students to indulge in. Elphaba had, in the past, tried to talk Galinda out of going to the pubs and bars, insisting that she was so much better than that, but Galinda never took Elphaba's advice. Instead, she always insisted that the pubs and bars were where she met some of her most powerful friends and made some of her most useful connections. Elphaba often wondered how true this statement was, but when she found herself unable to change Galinda's mind about these nightly outings, she let the issue drop entirely.

"Little idiot!" Elphaba muttered under her breath as, for the fourth time that week, Galinda slipped on out of the dorm room to go drinking. The only admirable thing about all of this was the fact that she somehow still managed to get most of her homework done before heading out. Elphaba could at least appreciate that.

But as irritated as Elphaba was with Galinda's schedule, because of their newfound friendship, Elphaba had since begun to feel a sort of devotion and affection for her roommate and had made it a personal code of hers that if Galinda was not back home by 3:00, then she would personally go out and hunt the foolish little idiot down herself. Every night, she set an alarm for 3:00 AM, just for Galinda. She hadn't ever needed to go out looking for Galinda before, Galinda usually coming home some time within the 2:00 range, but twice was there a night when Elphaba's alarm went off and Galinda's bed was still empty.

"Sweet, merciful mother of Lurline!" Elphaba grouched as she shut her alarm off and slowly, tiredly, rolled out of bed. Though a small part of her was already worried by the fact that Galinda still was not home yet, a majority of her was too tired to really care.

"The things I do for that little idiot!" she muttered to herself, then she exited the dorm room and hit the streets.

30 minutes later, Elphaba found Galinda, but she was not alone. Instead, she was being escorted off by a large and unsavory looking man.

"Hey!" Elphaba snapped, a new sense of alertness surging through her veins as she realized what was going on.

"Elphie!" Galinda slurred. "Fancy seeing you here! I was just getting a ride home from this guy over here, did you need one too?"

"If he was taking you back home, why is he headed away from the school?" Elphaba challenged the man coldly. He refused to answer, but she continued to push him. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, trying to look as scary as she could.

"You have done your job, now let her go and get back to your own home before I hex you!" she snarled.

"Oh, lighten up, Elphie!" Galinda giggled again, snuggling up against the man's arm.

"Galinda! Shut up!" Elphaba snapped. She didn't mean to be so sharp, but she could sense danger rising in the air and the less Galinda said and did, the safer they would all be in the long run. Galinda looked hurt by Elphaba's tone, but she fell silent nonetheless.

"Listen up, sweetheart," the man spoke at last. "There ain't no need to be such a party-pooper!"

"Agreed," Elphaba shot back. "So we may part ways peacefully if you give me my roommate."

"Nah, I don't think so, sweetheart, she's really into me," for a second, the man seemed quite proud of himself. Galinda nodded and smiled fondly up at him, caressing his muscles. Elphaba grit her teeth, seeing red tinting the corner of her vision. That was it! She was so done! So done with all of this! She was tired, she was cold, she was annoyed, and here Galinda was, acting like nothing was wrong at all!

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Elphaba said softly, then she began to chant. It was actually all nonsense, but she looked so calm and confident that the man did not hesitate to back away, quickly releasing Galinda's arm and taking several steps backward.

"Alright! Whatever! Just know I won't back down so easily next time!" the man vowed. Elphaba only pretended to pull out a wand. That was all she needed to do to send Galinda's captor running.

"Alright, you little idiot, time to go home," Elphaba grunted as the man ran away. Galinda still had that same stupid look on her face as before. Elphaba took in a deep breath to maintain her patience.

The second night did not end anywhere near as quiet as the first.

"That girl will be the death of me!" Elphaba declared angrily upon that second night, but she still did not hesitate to go out looking for her wayward roommate. What she found this time was not at all what she was expecting to see.

Elphaba had been right in the middle of peeking in through the windows of Galinda's favorite bar when a scream from about a block away pierced the silent night air. Elphaba wasn't even aware of moving but, suddenly, somehow, she had arrived at an alleyway where Galinda was currently being attacked by a stranger with a beer bottle.

"Galinda?" Elphaba breathed in horror. Galinda was backing away, arms raised up to shield her face, and there was a skinny, ratty looking man closing in on her, growling and spitting obscenities at her. If Elphaba had been angry the last time she'd had to come and rescue Galinda, it was nothing on the sheer amount of rage, hatred and violent wrath that she felt now.

She blacked out, suddenly unable to see anything, but she could hear and feel everything. She jumped forward with a strength she didn't know she had and she began to beat the strange man with every last ounce of strength she had. She punched, kicked, clawed, bit and hexed, screaming and swearing at him as she attacked him from behind with magical and nonmagical means. She even dared to use her wand to light him on fire, a very violent sort of attack. Although using magic in self-defense was legal, using a fire charm was not. But for once, Elphaba didn't give a damn about the rules or her reputation. All that mattered was making sure this man never ever, ever laid a hand, or even an eye, on Galinda again.

The last Elphaba saw of him was of his flaming specter, running away and screaming in terror as his arms pinwheeled in the air, a bright beacon in a cold and quiet midnight. But once he was finally out of sight, Elphaba turned her attentions on Galinda, who was looking more afraid of Elphaba than of the man that had tried to attack her. She was shaking, crying, looking close to collapsing. Elphaba softened up immediately, rushing to Galinda's side and wrapping a protective arm around her immediately.

"Galinda? Are you ok, my sweet?" Elphaba asked. A terrified nod told Elphaba that Galinda was, at least, sort of sober. She continued to shake violent, crying into Elphaba's shoulder.

"Did he-?" Elphaba asked cautiously, rubbing Galinda's back.

"No, no," Galinda promised. "You stopped him in time. But-" Galinda broke down again.

"Come on, let's get you home now," Elphaba whispered, then she picked Galinda up bridal style and carried her all the way back to their dorm.

"I'm so, so sorry Elphie," Galinda sniffled 30 minutes later as Elphaba tucked her into bed.

"Shhh, it wasn't your fault," Elphaba said, trying to keep her voice steady. "Just promise me you won't stay out so late anymore."

"Deal," Galinda gave Elphaba a weak smile. "I think I'm tired of getting drunk all the time anyway..."

"Good," Elphaba couldn't help but chuckle. "It's about time you came to your sense," then she turned away to her own bed.

"Wait!" Galinda pleaded. "Stay with me?" Elphaba raised her eyebrows in genuine surprise when Galinda said this, but when she saw just how shaken Galinda really was, she agreed immediately and climbed into bed with Galinda, wrapping her up in a protective hug once again.

"Thank you, Elphie," Galinda sniffled into her shoulder.

"Any time," Elphaba replied as she flicked off their bedside lamp. "I'll always be here for you, my little idiot."

**AN: Just a one-shot based on one of Elphaba's other nicknames for Galinda.**


End file.
